After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
