He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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