He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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