I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
