You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
