Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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