8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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