So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
