ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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