marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
