He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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