If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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