Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
