I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
