At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
