i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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