what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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