so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I didn't notice because vodka
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
