There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
