So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
