I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
