oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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