I must be too annoying 4 u.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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