walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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