i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
