i just google imaged poop.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
