So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
