There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
