So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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