remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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