You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
