the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
