he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
