Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
bring money and cleavage
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
