and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
