I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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