carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
im having a threesome with these popsicles
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
