I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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