i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
