Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
