forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I have post one night stand depression
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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