Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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