I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
