If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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