You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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