I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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