i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
