I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize