college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
