420 ftw
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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