its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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