so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
