ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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