he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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