Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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