You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
