So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
