If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
