im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
