Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
