my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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