Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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