yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
