Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
