I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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