I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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