1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
